reinVENTING

Haven't wrote in a while for fear of breaking on of my resolutions, dwelling on the negative, but I realize that I have to vent and get it out somehow, for it has stunted my creative growth and therefore caused me to not make art or write for weeks. So right now I'm sad, my favorite cat disappeared and hasn't come home, job hunting is awful, makes me feel like an unorganized cow, and I had been feeling like a sloth. I know now reading this it could be worse, but I get stuck in a rut and I'm ready to snap out of it. This week has been alot better, I started working out and eating better. This has given me more energy to brainstorm and find new ways to deal with my unhappiness. I have a new plan of action for finding a job, no more of these cattle call job fairs, its time to take a more personal approach and not worry about whose shoes I might step on. I have found a creative project to deal with the loss of my Chu, and allowed myself to be devastated no matter what others think. What people don't understand is that I lived on my own for many years and the only company I had through all of Jeff's absentances were my pets, and now my Chu who I had for 5 years since she was a little Christmas kitten chewing on my belt, being toted around in my purse, sitting in the passengers seat of my car cat is gone. Time to move on, think I'm gonna volunteer at the animal shelter this summer, help other kitty find homes. Anyhoo, just feeling blue, tomorrow will be a better day...